Forget Paris

This is Ali Michael.



Ali was essentially locked out of Paris fashion week due to the fact that her legs were "too fat" after she stopped starving herself and gained 5lbs. She went from opening big shows and being everywhere to being cast for only one show, Yohji Yamamoto.

Miss Michael was last season's model du jour, and she looks wraithlike, with a still-developing body and a 23-inch waist. But this season, after gaining five pounds, Miss Michael was told by casting directors for the runway shows that her legs were too plump, according to her mother, Mary Ann Michael, who travels with her daughter to appointments and shows. And so, after doing a string of major supermodel shows in September, Miss Michael snared only the Yohji Yamamoto show in Paris this time around.

23 inch waist and she's too fat to walk in Paris.

It's hard to imagine Miss Michael, a willowy, 5-foot-9-inch teenager, being told her legs are too fat. Last season, Miss Michael made herself sick keeping her weight down, said her mother. Miss Michael's reward was to be heralded as the next supermodel.

I would say something much more profound and eloquent about this entire situation but I'm actually choking on my rage. Yes, nothing has changed, yes things are just as bad as the have ever been but everything I really want to say is an expletive.

Cape Fear

(Aside: you wouldn't believe how thrilled I am by the title to this post. I keep giggling at my own genius. I toyed briefly with "Get Cape! Wear Cape! Fly!" but it seemed too exciteable.)

Apologies, gals and... other gals, for the long absence of ASK TFFF: what with dashing between London, Milan, and Paris; securing exclusive interviews with Valentino designer Alessandra Facchinetti ahead of her debut ready-to-wear show in Paris today (yes, I am showing off); and a busy schedule of throwing cellphones at assistants and dashing in and out of rehab, we've had barely a minute to turn our collective attention to your pressing questions.

Enough: this week's question comes from the lovely Tina, of somewhere in Germany, who asks, "Würde ein Kap einer curvy Abbildung entsprechen? Mit und was würde ein es tragen?"

Just kidding! With thanks to Babelfish for that hilarity. Really, the question was: "Am I cape capeable? Will I look like a swash-buckling dandy highwayman, or perhaps a badly-drawn superhero? And is there something besides the jeans-into-boots combo I can wear my swishy half-coat, half-bat accessory with?"

Firstly, the pitfalls. The cape reeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally needs to be long: a dinky lil' cape just won't cut it. However generous the cut, inevitably your generous bosom will cause the short cape -- or capelet -- to rest 'pon it, forming more of a ruff. And you will look like this:


"Something is always wrong, Balders. The fact that I am not a millionaire aristocrat with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino is a constant niggle."

There's some sartorial whimsy to Blackadder's look, yes, but I'm going to go ahead and assume that he's not anyone's style guru. Also, avoid red, unless, well... y'know:



So, length; lots of material -- a cape should swish and hang free, rather than stretch tight over shoulders. Those are the only rules. As for what to wear it with: as capes are fairly loose, they go well with a form-fitting silhouette. If the skinny jeans + flat boots + cape look is a little too equestrian/Nazi Mufti Day for your tastes, a pencil skirt and fitted tank would look great; ditto skinny fit jeans with a little pair of heels; or perhaps a well-fitted dress -- think the Galaxy -- to the knee. A cape layered over a loose tunic, baggy sweater dress, or floor-length skirt/maxi dress, may make you look just slightly like you're wearing a duvet, and possibly that you're out for a day of shoplifting pillows.

Ultimately, it's all about whether you feel you can carry off the DRAMA! of a cape. (Yes, they are so dramatic that it deserves capitals and an exclam. Remember, Batman wears one.) Just experiment!

Unfortunately at the time of going to what I shall laughably call 'press', there were few capes to be seen on the high street. Or indeed, the interwebs. Occasionally they come into fashion, but more often are to be found at flea markets, vintage stores, charity shops, and eBay. Though if any of our delightful readers has seen a cape or two at a proper shop and wants to email me the link, I'd gladly re-edit the post and pass their eagle eye off as my own.

Turning coal to diamante

Spangly designer Julien MacDonald, famous for his orangey skin, sparkly dresses, and delight in dressing nubile young starlets in bum-grazing dresses on the red carpet, dressed Gossip singer Beth Ditto for the BRIT Awards last night:



What do you think? Personally I'm not a fan of MacDonald's chandelier chic (and not just because I've never gotten into one of his shows...), but it's great to see a 'name' designer reintepreting his work for a plus-size icon, and Beth looks fabbity.

Fat is a Feminist Issue

Quick drive-by posting: Kira Cochrane, Women's Editor at my beloved Grauniad, has a new column, The Feminist Dieter.

Personally, I think it's a really brave, honest and quite beautiful piece of writing. You may disagree, but I urge you to read it in full. Extracts:

"And you know what? I didn't mind. In fact, as I started to escape the fug I had been in, looked down and noticed my belly, I realised that being fat was kind of cool. Sure, there were downsides. I no longer looked good in jeans. My bra cups were bigger than my head. My tights rubbed together as I walked, making me sound like a particularly large and irritating cricket. But there were pluses, too.

Most of all, being fat meant that I was suddenly cast out of that uniquely depressing dance that goes on - particularly between women - of policing each other's weight."

"I understand why women engage in these conversations, and why we feel that if we don't apologise for the space we take up, we're afraid that someone else will get in first and cut us down. I understand, too, that for some women these conversations are actually a way of highlighting just how thin they are, thus shoring up their place in some vast unspoken pecking order. And while I find it utterly depressing that a woman would feel that her weight - or lack of it - represents her major achievement, given that we live in a society in which women are, on average, paid 17% less than men, make up only a fifth of MPs, a 10th of leading company directors, and have little choice but to watch in horror as less than 6% of reported rape cases end in a conviction, I can understand why women often don't feel that they or their abilities are really valued, and try to assert whatever small slice of power they can through drawing attention to their body by denigrating it. I understand it, and I don't blame anyone who does it, and I have done it myself, but I also really hate it. It is boring. It is tiring. It is sad."

What do you all think? Also, in other publishing news: remember that hilarious letter in W that we posted about here, where the delightful Coral from Denver explained to us all that fat girls like cookies, but not fashion? Well, Saturday's Guardian (why yes, that is all I read...) Weekend section has that letter's complete opposite, I thought I'd share:

"Is there no end to the bossy misogyny of fashion? Of course not. But Hadley Freeman's comments (Looking Good, February 9) on cleavage are naive, too. Doesn't she realise that if you have big breasts, fashion leaves you no option but to wear cleavage as an act of resistance? Nothing fashion makes either fits a voluptuous figure, or looks nice on it, except for the ubiquitous and by now rather dull wrap dresses. If fashion is so bloody clever, why doesn't it come up with things that look nice on us? Oh, and thanks so much for the subtle reinterpretation of the ancient truth that women with big breasts are stupid. We need reminding - we're so dim it still hasn't sunk in yet." Louisa Young, London W12

Louisa, honey, I think I kind of love you.

Jersey Girls

Before we jump full force into our fashion week coverage (from the epic beauty of Peter Som for Bill Blass to the head scratching beauty of Marc Jacobs) were going to look at another designers foray into the plus market. Norma Kamali has introduced her first plus sized styles, available for pre-order at Nordstrom.



The collection looks promising, not much there yet but the drape dress looks great and hopefully there will be more soon. Another stylish option out there for plus-sized girls from an impeccable designer but I do have to wonder at the proliferation of jersey on the plus sized market. Granted, Kamali is known for popularizing jersey in the 80s so she's a natural fit but does anyone else feel like they're entering the local athletic supply store every time they hit the plus size department nowadays? Jersey is popular across the board but much like the millennial obsession with velour I can't help but wonder how such a patently difficult fabric has become so beloved.