Legs & Co.

Legs are leg - wait for it - endary!

To quote Mrs Doubtfire star Sally Field: "You like us! You really like us!" Who would have thunk, when harsh taskmistress Miss J issued a clarion call for your questions, that we'd be so inundated with responses? Did y'all have nothing to do this weekend but consider your sartorial dilemmas?

Luckily for our readers, here at TFFF Towers we have an entire troupe of trained minions -- Oompa Loompas, actually, on the lend from Johnny Depp -- whom we send a-scurrying to research the answers to your every fash-related question. (In addition to their day-to-day tasks, which mostly consist of fetching caffeinated beverages, and baking us apple crumble on our whim.)

The wee Oompas' first question comes courtesy of reader The Dowdydiva, who this season will be taking inspiration from childhood favourite, Rainbow Brite and the Colour Kids. She asks, "Whither wouldst one purchase tights/pantyhose/hosiery in Fire Engine Red or Royal Blue, rather than Neutrals In The Theme Of Grandma?" Adding, "I'm tall, in the manner of cool hepcat Allison Janney, so tights with tallness, please."

Here's what my favourite Oompa Loompa (Montgomery J. Penthouse) uncovered:



1. 60 Denier Bright Tights, £4 from M&S. Available in Purple, Teal, Pink (shown), Apple Red, and Black. (UK delivery only.) M&S, despite Jeremy Paxman being a hater, also have a grool selection of other styles, including lace, leopard-print, ribbed, and zigzag. Available in sizes S, M, L, and XL (up to skirt size 24).

2. Cotton Footless Tights, $11 from Hue. Available in Black, Coffee, Grey, White, Apple Red and Pink; and in sizes 1, 2, 3, and 4 (100lbs to 250lbs). Hue also have leggings, fishnets, capris and socks.

Finally, like Vanessa Williams, we saved the best 'til last:

3. Solid Colour Tights, $8 from We Love Colors. They're not kidding with the title: these babies are available in 45 bright colours, and in sizes up to 330lbs/over 6' tall. Plus the online store has footless tights, metallics, leggings...