Naked Ambition

We are in the midst of a pop culture event, the latest issue of NME features a very nude Beth Ditto and an equally revealing interview. How ever you may feel about Beth this is a big deal. I don't think I've ever seen an image quite like this in a magazine let alone on its cover. Usually when one thinks "nude + singer" it conjures images of uber svelte women like Christina Aguilera or Fergie. Those are the sorts of pictures were used to, quite frankly I don't think magazines like Blender would actually exist without that sort of imagery but this is the first time (at least as far as I can remember) that I've seen a plus sized woman represented in such an overtly sexual manner by a mainstream publication. What I like about this cover is how she is represented as sexy and cool, there is a certain devil may care attitude but its paired with a very pin-up look. Kudos to the powers that be for leaving her rolls intact. Its rare to see a plus sized girl in a magazine without every roll airbrushed into oblivion.


Click for NSFW version

Her NME interview features a few interesting tidbits about her views on celebrity, fashion and her new friend Kate Moss:

"You can't hate a person for dieting, and you can't blame a person for feeling shit about themselves. You have to blame the machine that feeds it, the thing that makes people feel like that. There are lots of things that are part of that machine, and it's too easy to lay the blame at the feet of women - men don't know what it feels like to be a woman and be expected to look a particular way all the time.

. . .

"Kate is amazing. I spent one night talking to her and she just said the most amazing things about bodies," explained Ditto. At first I didn't think I was going to like her, but she just turned up to one of our shows and said, 'Do you know what I hate Beth? I hate it when people tell my big girlfriends, 'You have a beautiful face...' I mean, that's a really radical concept."

- Beth Ditto

I find it interesting that she and Kate would mention the "such a pretty face" syndrome. I have always had a problem with all variants of that statement. There is almost nothing more patronizing than to hear that you have a beautiful face knowing full well that what the person really means is "You have a pretty face, too bad about the rest of you." Its one of those rather brutal backhanded complements that many women have to deal with on a daily basis. I don't know how others feel but personally I get irked each time I hear that.




Though I'm pretty sure Beth's title as coolest woman on earth will remain unchallenged for some time I am also very curious to see how people respond to this cover. Granted this isn't the first time Beth has posed nude but this is easily the most revealing NME cover I've ever seen. Do you love it or do you hate it?

Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)

Mika is releasing Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) as a single, and the London papers are currently full of pictures of the video shoot in Croydon last week. Now, it's no Fat Bottomed Girls (they make the rockin' world go round, apparently), but it's interesting.

Photo courtesy of Big Pictures Blog -- many thanks to joelle for the link!

What do you guys think? Positive portrayal of plus women? or vaguely patronising, fat-fetishising anthem?

I'm a little leery of this, partly because within the first four lines we're talking food, pizza specifically - because hey, only big girls eat, and big girls eat pizza! Plus it sets up that whole plus vs. skinny thing with the 'only big girls are real women', as if there's a checklist somewhere for what makes a real woman. Let's play real woman bingo - do you have all the items on the list?!

(Although I do like the 'big balloon' imagery, but that's just cuz I like balloons. Shiny, colourful pretty balloons.)

One other thing - there are a hundred bajillion songs about girls and women and girlfriends and love etc etc etc. Unless they specify height, weight, race, age, hair and eye colour, and shoe size, I like to think they could all apply to me. Why not, right? Take "You're Beautiful" - dreadful song, but there's nothing in there that says it can't be about a plus-size woman, or a buck-toothed buzz-eyed club-footed lass. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? So maybe there needn't be a special song for pluses, because all the songs are for us, them, you, we - and by separating out songs, Big Girl, Fat Bottomed Girls, Baby Got Back, it suggests I was wrong about all those other songs, and they were actually just about slim women.

Or maybe I read too much into it. At any rate, it's less disgusting than Baby Got Back. Actually, Sir Mix-a-Lot, Cosmo doesn't think I'm fat. And keep your anaconda away from me! (I actually do love that song. But it's gross.)

Here's the Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) lyrics. Tell us what you think. Aside from anything else, the video looks to be cool - the stills I've seen are colourful and fun and filled with gorgeous, beautiful, voluptuous women. Final thought (in a non-creepy Jerry Springer way...): whatever the politics of the song, the positives and the negs, that one idea should always be said, and never be ignored: big girl you are beautiful.

Big girl you are beautiful

Walks in to the room
Feels like a big balloon
I said, 'Hey girls you are beautiful'
Diet coke and a pizza please
Diet coke I'm on my knees
Screaming 'Big girl you are beautiful'

You take your skinny girls
Feel like I'm gonna die
Cos a real woman
Needs a real man is why

You take your girl
And multiply her by four
Now a whole lotta woman
Needs a whole lot more

Get yourself to the Butterfly Lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And they'll be calling you baby

No need to fantasise
Since I was in my braces
A watering hole
With the girls around
And curves in all the right places

Big girls you are beautiful (x 4)

Hunting High and Low: Cocktail Rings

Although I am best known for my snobbery, bitchitude and unmitigated hatred of most people, I am in fact a softee at heart, and there are many things I love. Like, love love love skip through the daisies sing songs epic love.

Among these things are: cocktails, mostly because of their alcohol content, and gesticulating wildly to make my point, because my voice isn't very loud so I use my hands as my own personal back-up band. Usually I try not to combine the two, because gesticulating wildly whilst holding a cocktail usually ends up with the cocktail accidentally thrown in someone's face, and if I'm going to be hurling drinks in people's faces, I want to make the most of it and not be doing it accidentally. (Ideally you want to wear matte red lipstick and hurl a dirty martini, combine this with a killer exit line and a spin on your high-heels as you storm out for maximum effect.)

There is one thing that combines cocktails (sort of) and adult jazz hands, and that's this summer's biggest jewellery trend, the cocktail ring. Cocktail rings are big, hefty, heavy bad-boys of the jewellery world. They are not for simpering girls or thin, pale fingers: your hand has to bear a lot of weight for these rings. They're a woman's ring, requiring gravitas, money and panache.

They're especially good for the following: hailing taxis - the jewels will glint in the sun and the driver has to slow down for the glare! Smoking - lifting your hand up to smoke shows off that giant bauble on your finger. Result! Punching a cheating cad in the face - the faceted jewel should leave a nice welt. Etc.

The key to cocktail rings is not subtlety: this isn't pretty, girly, floral la la la jewellery. It's bold, brassy, knock-em-dead knuckleduster jewellery. The sort of rings you imagine adorn the hands of sexy divorcees in dodgy soap operas. Look out for gold, oversized gems, tiger and snake motifs, etc.

Here are TFFF's picks for the best cocktail rings, whatever your budget:


Top row (L-R): Banana Republic, Urban Outfitters, Topshop. Second row (L-R): CK Calvin Klein, Lalique, Lola Rose. Third row (L-R): Hannah Martin, Lara Bohinc, Roberto Cavalli.

I won it in a bubblegum machine: $15 - $35
Cabochon enamel ring $34.00 from Banana Republic
Tiger eyes ring $16.00 from Urban Outfitters
Ball (heh) ring approx. $17.00 from Topshop

My divorce lawyer is excellent: $100 - $275
Orange eternity ring approx. $109 by CK Calvin Klein from John Lewis
Green cabochon ring approx. $275.00 from Lalique
Silver 'pom pom' ring approx. $109.00 from Lola Rose

My name is Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan: $300+
Gold eagle ring approx. $5000 by Hannah Martin from Nina and Lola
Liberace ring approx. $300 by Lara Bohinc from Browns
Green serpent ring approx. $500 by Roberto Cavalli from Net-a-Porter

My favourite is the gorgeous cabochon by Lalique - it's available in more colours than Angelina Jolie's family: green, pink, clear, black, lagoon blue, turquoise, moss, seafoam, lilac, red and orange. If I didn't think it would be tacky, I'd wear one on every finger. Who am I kidding? I'd do that ESPECIALLY if I thought it'd be tacky. C'mon.

At the cheaper end, I really do love that Topshop ring - I think it's unusual yet chic, and despite the thrifty pricetag it doesn't look cheap or nasty. I'd wear the tiger ring (Urban Outfitters has a GREAT selection of wacky, unusual costume cocktail rings) to a metal bar.

The Age Old Question

“You feel there has been an act of genuine hostility toward you by the designer” when they stop making something you’re able to wear. It’s like they don’t want you to have it." - Nora Ephron

The industry's continued obsession with youth can be alienating for anyone who doesn't want to spend their days wearing baby doll dresses, smock shirts or any of the other trends that seem to be ripped straight out a preteen's closet. The New York Times has an interesting Cathy Horn penned piece this week on the subject of aging and fashion which touches briefly on the subject of plus size shopping.

Label-mad or not, many American women can’t find the clothes they want, and have the means to buy. Audrey Smaltz, a fashion show producer in New York, is on her way to Las Vegas in two weeks to celebrate her 70th birthday with a dinner dance at the Bellagio hotel.
“I want to look sexy and they don’t sell sexy for a size 18,” said Ms. Smaltz, who asked Cassandra Broomfield, a custom dressmaker, to make her a short white dress for the party. Ms. Smaltz finds blouses and sexy tops in her size by Lafayette 148.

I found this statement very true. Designers often don't make "sexy" clothing in larger sizes or for women who are older. For some reason older women, who quite frankly have the most buying power, get shut out because designers aren't catering to their needs. I've never really understood why designers do this, sure young girls will always need clothes but its their mothers, grandmothers and older peers who are more likely to have the cash to spend on high end prices. Add to this the fact that older women just bring a certain grace and confidence to clothes, one look at the stunning Carmen Dell'Orefice can tell you that.

I would like to open up discussion about this article/subject matter to the group. Do you feel there is such a thing as age approrpirate dressing in the first place and/or do you feel that your age plays a part in your shopping experience. I would definitely like to know how people feel about this because I think its something every woman regardless of size will have to deal with eventually in her life.

Who Wears Short Shorts??

Shorts are, at least for me the single most perilous fashion item known to man. There are about ten million ways to do shorts wrong. Either they're too long, too short, too baggy, too tight, too bright or just plain wrong. Shorts are a fashion gamble and when you factor in things like dress shorts and retailers' penchant for creating new short items just in time for summer (the dreaded skort anyone) it can be hard to know just what's right let alone what's in.


Short looks at Alberta Ferretti & Adam + Eve

General rules:

Keep it simple is the best overall rule when it comes to shorts. I find solid colors are generally more appealing but if you want to do prints choose something larger and more graphic. Tiny floral prints can look too childish but large black and white print or even the preppy classic madras can be stylish with the right outfit. Stay away from overdone embellishment, the less fabric there is the simpler your shorts should be. The focus overall should be your legs, not the shorts themselves.

Most importantly experiment and try things on. Don't just say "oh I could never wear _____" make sure to at least give it a shot before you rule it out entirely. You may just surprise yourself, for the longest time I wouldn't wear white or khaki shorts and now they're one of my favorite things on earth come summer time.

Bermudas:

Bermuda shorts usually conjure images of golf shoes and long socks but they can be incredibly stylish with the right look. Something has to be said for a longer short length. I find that bermudas can look really dressy if they're done in chic material or paired with elegant accessories. Throw on some heels and a light jacket with your bermudas and you can wear them to work. Pair them with a flowy top and this seasons gladiator sandals and you have a great day outfit. Anything goes with these. That said I would avoid some of the baggier styles for bermuda shorts, look for a great cut whether you're going for a looser or form fitting pair.

Short Shorts:

Hotpants are what we call underwear thats covered in glitter. Just say no. There really ought to be a 12 step hotpants anon program during the summer for repeat offenders, I'm looking at you La Lohan. That said a good pair of shorts with a shorter length can be very appealing, if you've got great legs there is no reason why you shouldn't show them off. The main thing to watch out for is length, you never want to verge into "I left my pants at home" territory. Also keep in mind the fit, short + form fitting might be too much, short shorts with a looser fit look fresher and more modern.

Denim:

Jean shorts always make me think of that, regrettable time in middle school when I thought I could DIY all my jeans into shorts for the summer. As someone who is not particularly handy with a pair of scissors, I quickly learned that this was a mistake. Cutoffs aside denim shorts can look very casual and cute. Watch out for extraneous elements like embellishment and oversized pockets which can make your shorts look overdone or just plain tacky. Experiment with different washes just like you would with regular jeans. Just because its denim doesn't mean it has to be plain old blue.

What To Wear Them With:

And now the fun part. There are about a million ways to wear shorts but some fun ideas that are very cute and very now are:

- Romantic: Fall's long tunics move into summer when paired with shorts. Plus the longer silhouette looks great skimming over a nice pair.

- Nautical: The tried and true seafaring look is still in and white shorts go great with all those black and navy stripes.

- Preppy: Some of us never truly gave up those Lacoste polo shirts and Brooks Brother's button downs. Shorts are essential for that "I summer in the Hamptons" look. Try them with a cardigan and camisole something very Ralph Lauren.

- Elegant: Heels, structured blouse, and effortless accessories like a timeless bag and dangling earrings make for a beautiful classic outfit.

How do you like to wear your shorts once the weather gets warm? I'm all about the dressy bermudas with a good pair of wedges.

Johanna Dray: Divine Diva

Johanna Dray is one of the loveliest women I've seen in general, even if she wasn't a plus model I'd still be bowled over by her. She's walked for John Galliano, been photographed by Nick Knight and appeared in Vogue Paris. Amazing track record for any model regardless of size. I think this editorial really captures just how glamorous she is. Look at it calls to mind classic beauties like Ava Gardner and Maria Callas, not just in terms of the styling (which is dead on btw) but just in terms of her general presence and allure, her face just leaps off the page. There has been a lot of late 40s - early 50s redux cross culturally lately (here's to you Dita Von Tesse) but Johanna's presence in this set really elevates it above the usual retro fare. How fabulous that Galliano dress on her? Its absolutely stunning. It was great when she wore it on the runway but its even better editorially. I'm also really loving that Dietrich tux complete with white oxfords and bowtie. Just looking at this set makes me want to turn on TCM and catch up on classic Hollywood fare.

Summer Days, Driftin’ Away - Whoo-ah, Those Summer Nights

Whether it's the weather driving everyone outdoors, or that left-over-from-school-days vacation feeling, but summer always seems to have more events to dress for, and a wider variety, than winter. Sure, autumn/winter brings us Halloween, Guy Fawkes (if you're English), Thanksgiving (if you're American), all those Christmas parties, New Year, Valentine's, et al. (Um, that's actually quite a lot...)

But - Halloween aside, when clothes should be put aside in favour of a spooky costume, no exceptions - I feel winter's looks fall into two categories: Glamorous or Cosy. It-s either a jean-knit-flats combo, or a red dress-metallic shoe-diamante look.

Summer, on the other hand... there's picnics to be had, days at the beach and days at the funfair, days sat in beer gardens, nights sat in pubs (which is the same as the previous option but how many beer gardens are there in jam-packed cities like London and NYC? C'mon), long country walks, punting and boating, camping holidays, fun dates... Where winter sees me refusing to venture out into the cold unless a taxi and dinner is involved, in summer I'll happily rarely set foot in the house.

But oh - what to wear? Here are three looks that can be adapted for a number of different summertime occasions.

Cute Outdoors: Sandy Olssen

Perhaps you're dating a Riley Fynn type who wants to take you on a picnic, or maybe you've decided to go rowing with your friensd. Plus don't forget, summer tis the season of festivals, you can't get much more outdoors than a festival. This year I'm camping at the Hay-on-Wye literary festival in Wales, and I think this look will work as well there as on the aforementioned picnic dates.



Printed dress, $48 Urban Outfitters; Necklace, $290 Wright and Teague; Wellingtons, $60 Peter Storm; Sunglasses, $30 Topshop; 10 powder, $26 Benefit; Hypnose perfume, $60 Lancome.

Yes, I'd wear these wellies on a date! Look if it's good enough for Kate Moss...actually, judging by Pete, lots of bad things are good enough for Kate, so let's leave that argument. Um, the wellies/dress combo is great for festivals and super-outdoorsy occasions; you can throw a pair of cute flip-flops in your tote for hot days and lounging. 10 powder will fake a summer glow, whilst the scent I've chosen is light and fresh without being bland.

Sophisticate: Marty Maraschino

Spring/summer isn't always about bare-faced, bare-foot, mud'n'grass'n'beer chic (not that mud and beer are chic). Sometimes a little glamour is needed - for wine bar evenings rather than pubs, or maybe a business lunch or birthday.



Tulip dress, $69.50 Gap; Edith bowling bag, £1600 Chloe at Net-a-Porter; Rumeur, $90 Lanvin; Gold wedges, $820 Christian Louboutin from Net-a-Porter; Cocktail ring, $2300 Hannah Martin; Jacket, $550 Anglomania by Vivienne Westwood.

The dress is also available in black (up to size US20). The tulip silhouette is totally cute, especially combined with a neat cropped jacket - anything longer disrupts the line. Chic it up with high-end accessories like these fab gold wedges from Christian Louboutin - metallics are still in for summer - and an oversize leather bag. Top everything off with a blinging cocktail ring - cocktail rings are the new big sunglasses, y'all. I love the threat of violence in this one!

Tomboytastic: Stephanie Zinone

Yes, this season is all about the dress. Yes, 90% of my wardrobe has been given over to dresses in all styles. But sometimes a dress can be too, well, dressy. If you're going to be sat in a beer garden until well after the sun goes down, you'll catch a chill in a dress; and nothing says pub like a jean. I've also met a selection of handsome gentlemen recently, and occasionally I like to pretend I can cook. That way I can invite them to my abode on the pretext of dinner, and then partake of the convenience of both bed and sofa to make out with them. Cunning is my middle name. Actually, it's Olivia. But it says "cunning vixen" on my business cards. Is that fraudulent?

If you serve food whilst totally glammed up, boys tend to run away because you seem like a crazy person; but you don't want to look too dowdy and chained-to-the-kitchen-sink either. Casual is the watchword for this situation, and for summer itself.



Jean, $50 Gap; Sneaker, $40 Dunlop; Tank, $100 Stella McCartney for Adidas; Bangle, $63 Lily and Doreen; Lipstick Rose scent, $155 Frederic Malle; Floral ring, $120 Lola Rose.

The jeans are available up to size US20, and have a great fit - definitely not a dress jean but still sexy. Team with this sporty-yet-girly tank by Stella McCartney for Adidas (the perfect mix of girly designer and sportswear). I love the whole Stella/Adidas collection, it's all so cute, and totally wearable. Great sports looks and yet I've never worn them for sports... I would layer a Mike & Chris hoodie (the dernier cris of designer sweatshirts) over this look as well.

Casual enough for pints and Parcheesi at the pub; cute enough for eating in with your honey. This awesome bangle adds a splash of colour along with the sneakers. Finish off with a floral accent like this cocktail ring, for a touch of girliness, and scent . I love the sleek, minimalist design of this bottle, although the scent itself is sweeter than sweet - and a guaranteed man-magnet. Try Sui Dreams by Anna Sui if you're just out with your mates, for a less seductive scent!

This post has been brought to you by Why Has It Been Raining For Two Weeks Solid and Why Won't Summer Start, Already?

Woman In Full: Sara Ramirez

The fact that I'm completely in love with Sara Ramirez probably renders me incapable of giving an objective analysis but I am not going to let that stop me from talking about her style. Anyone who watches Grey's Anatomy or is a fan of Spamalot knows exactly how awesome Sara is but acting/singing skills aside she's an incredibly impressive and intelligent woman. Reading her profile in Glamour sheds some light on her own struggles with body image and what it is like to deal with those issues in Hollywood. Remember her incredibly cute Grey's underwear dancing scene? Apparently it wasn't as effortless as it looked:

"I went to Shonda Rhimes, the executive producer, and said, “Do you really want me to do this? Why me? I have so much cottage cheese here and there!” She just looked at me and said, “Work it.” That was all I got from her. And sure enough, doing the scene helped me get over a lot of my issues. I had to accept my body.

And now? I’m not going to lie: I still have days when I walk by the mirror on my way to the shower and think, oh God, I didn’t just see that! But I’ve learned to stop myself and ask, am I being realistic? What do I love about my body? What am I grateful for? The answers to those questions remind me that I’m very blessed." - Sara Ramirez

I think Sara's story is very interesting and it sounds quite frankly like what alot of women go through every day. Most of us don't have to worry about what a casting director might say but there is a still an incredible amount of pressure placed on women to fit a very specific mold and in a sea of ever shrinking starlets its nice to see an actress who loves her body as is.

Now of course I'm here to talk about style so onward to the sexy. I've really been loving what Sara wears on the red carpet. She always seems to find the absolute perfect little dresses. They're flirty and cute but with just the right amount of sex appeal.


The Many Sides of Sara

There is something almost retro about her red carpet outfits. Look at those peep toe pumps she's wearing in the picture with McSteamy co-star Eric Dane, they could have been pulled from Marilyn Monroe's closet.


Inspiration

I've taken the liberty of using some of Sara's greatest fashion hits to create a look that can fit right into your closet. For those nights when you just want to unleash your inner glamour girl.



Dress: Banana Republic, Pumps: Steve Madden, Clutch: Jimmy Choo, Body Shimmer: Michael Kors, Lipgloss: Laura Mercier, Earrings: Antony Nak , Eyeliner: Givenchy


First we have the signature red dress but in a very casual almost beachy style. Perfect for summer barbeques or picnics. Then we've got the amazing leopard pumps, a complete steal at 79.99 and peep toe pumps can go with everything from jeans to jewels so you can really get alot of wear out of the shoes themselves. Plus there is a lower heeled wedge version if sky high heels aren't your thing. I think every girl needs at least one pair of animal print shoes and you can't go wrong with the classic leopard spots. Now my absolute favorite part of this entire look is the gilded Jimmy Choo clutch. I just feel like its an instant conversation piece though that may just be because it reminds me of Fort Knox, either way a good clutch will always be in style. Finish the look off with a stunning pair of dangling earings, discreetly placed shimmer and the perfect lipgloss and you've got yourself ready for an evening out on the town. Or a night curled up with McSteamy your special someone. The choice is yours.

Magazine Knows Best

Miss J opened the TFFF discussion on magazines with her review of Vogue's Shape Issue. Magazines love to dress their "real life readers". Rarely does an issue go by without a feature on dressing to suit your shape, or making the most of your best bits. What's interesting about those features is what those best bits supposedly are.

Often they'll choose a trend, say a colour or a particular silhouette, and do a What to Wear If You're...Tall, Skinny, Petite or Plus. (They rarely accommodate a shape that combines two or more of those things. What if you're tall and plus, or petite and plus, hmmm?)

Some magazines do it brilliantly: Seventeen, for instance. I have an old issue next to me, from August 2004. The cover headline is "Clothes For Your Shape & Budget". At first you're worried it will be another case of dressing the plus girl in jeans and a long-length tunic top to cover her 'faults'. Instead, inside you find lots of cute readers wearing different looks, labelled according to trend, not size. A plus-petite girl next to a tall-curvy, or a skinny-petite next to a plus-tall. Not a shape label in sight.

Teen Vogue from November of that year is great, too: cute outfits, in all sizes, with no lecturing, and fun pull-quotes like "On me, knee-length skirts fall below the knee. So of course I love minis!" Trust me, as a 5'3" munchkin, I know whereof this girl speaks.

I will give the teen mags credit - they might use the same ol', same ol' slim models, but they do feature a wider range of sizes and looks than their adult counterparts. And I love that their What To Wear... pieces rarely show you step by step, size by size - instead they mix it all up and provide plenty of options, for you to make your own mind up.

No, the problem comes when magazines do makeovers or show readers how to adjust looks and trends to their figure 'problems'. I've been searching and searching for pertinent examples, but despite owning a houseful of magazines dating back a decade, I just can't. I tend to throw any issues I'm anti into the recycling, never to darken my doorstep. But y'all know what I'm talking about, right?

They'll show a plus-size reader she too can wear a mini-dress....so long as she covers up her problem legs with jeans! Want to wear the trendy It dress? Well, you CAN'T - unless you wrap those upper arms in a shawl! Steer clear of tight clothes...short clothes...flesh-exposing clothes...

It doesn't just apply to the plus-sizes, either. Skinny, flat-chested lasses are told to make the most of their little waists and arms...but heaven forfend they should rock their non-existent cleavage. Tall girls must wear layers and blocks of different colours to 'break up' their height. Short women shouldn't wear maxi or layers because it will reveal that they are - horrors - short.

The What To Wear... pieces always focus on the negative, indeed they invent negatives. Who says a rounded tummy is a flaw? What's wrong with looking tall if you are in fact tall? Why should thighs that rub together stay under wraps, along with bingo wings? I'm all for accentuating the positive, but that's rarely what magazines do.

The focus on plus-sizes wearing trends is never, hubba hubba come to mamma, did you see those boobies? It is your solemnly sworn duty to wear this scoop-necked dress with this bra and present your breasteses on a platter. Or it's not, good gracious, ass is bodacious! Take these butt-accentuating skinny jeans and corset, and show the world what you're going to do with all that junk inside your trunk. No, it's always, cover that belly! hide yourself! away, away with this flesh!

Do do this. Don't do that. Avoid this is you're this and that if you're that. C'mon. We can dress ourselves, you know. I've been doing it for 25 years! Okay, I've been doing it for 25 years minus the years my parents did it, and minus the years I had to be forced, kicking and screaming, into Clothkits dungarees when I really wanted to run naked like a butterfly (um, a butterfly with legs) through the garden before eating some mud.

But really - I love a bit of style advice, or a friend to tell me what works, or a magazine to offer solutions to certain issues. I wish I'd had a magazine to advise me not to wear my teen favourite outfit of maroon crushed velvet elasticated waist tube skirt + green hand-knitted jumper + unlaced converse + giant sunflower + floppy hat like Six from Blossom, but then I wouldn't have the memories. Ah, sweet memories.

What I do have a problem with is people telling me, and others, that our figures are problems. That your butt is not, as I thought, a wonderful playground wherein Matthew McConaughey may play the cheeks like bongos, but a thing to be hidden; that big juicy thighs or arms or indeed any body part are not wonderful, ripe, rich, firm lovely goodies, but flaws to be disguised.

The only flaws of mine I will ever try and disguise are pimples and my giant ego.

(Ooh, speaking of my ego - let me pimp my latest article for The Independent!)

Attention New Yorkers!

Great heads up from our friend Lisafashinista at Beauty Plus Power. Lee Lee's Valise a plus sized boutique specializing in fashionable plus sized clothing is opening up in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn!

The boutique will carry Elena Miro, IGIGI, Tadashi, Donna Ricco, Kiyonna, B & Lu and a host of other incredible plus sized brands along with special services like on site alterations! You really can't beat that with a stick.

Tomorrow is the Grand opening for any and all who wish to check it out. I will personally be there with bells on.

Lee Lee's Valise Grand Opening Event

Saturday May 5th 1pm - 8pm
368 Court Street (at the corner of President St)

Take the F or G train to Carroll Street Station and walk 1 block

718-246-LEES

All For Swinging You Around : Prom Night

The prom. A teenage rite of passage that either calls to mind Cinderella imagery or visions of every teen slasher flick well, ever. Anyone who has ever had to primp and plan in preparation for this most vaulted of high school dances knows that the prom is a stress in and of itself. There's renting the limo, arranging things with mom and dad and most difficult of all seeking out that perfect dress for dancing the night away.

Finding the right prom dress is difficult. Most of the options availible for prom look like they've been run through a broken bedazzler and/or run the size range from extra small to small. Since every girl wants to look good on her special night (and since those prom pictures will always come back to haunt you, I speak from experience) a little help is in order. We at TFFF believe in making life easier, especially for our younger readers. As such we've crafted a little mini guide to looking perfect on your special night.


Prom options from Tadashi | All availible at Saks

THE LOOK

First things first you've got to decide what look it is you're going for. There are no rules, you can go super formal in a floor length gown, or rock it out in something short and sweet. Unless your school has a set dress code pretty much anything goes. Just take into consideration what you'll be most comfortable in, nothing is worse than an evening spent in a stuffy ballgown when you'd much rather wear a short skirt or even pants. As someone who wore the poufiest gown she could find to her prom I know this to be true. Sometimes its better to think outside the box when it comes to formal wear, don't just go for the tried and true ballgown look. You'll look ten times cuter if you actually feel at peace in the dress you're wearing. Try on a lot of things and move around in them. Unless you're planning on standing by the wall it's important that you be able to dance about in whatever you pick.

THE ACCESSORIES

Keep. It. Simple. No matter what your friends say this is not the time for a tiara. Unless you have a royal title it is almost never the time for a tiara. Nor is it the time for anything over the top or ridiculous that you'll wind up leaving in the limo or dropping in the bathroom. A simple clutch with the basic essentials is all a girl needs. Also think about keeping your hair and makeup classic, when you look back at those photos 10 years later you don't want to see a face encrusted with glitter and neon eyeshadow. Unless thats your signature look, if so then knock yourself out.

TFFF APPROVED
Now while I am I little long in the tooth to go to prom there were a few dresses out there that I found and really loved. I think they'd be perfect for any night on the town really but they've a little something special that I think could work for a school dance. I'm absolutely in love with the Tadashi wine colored halter dress. Its stunning and has a flamenco feel, just looking at it makes me want to start dancing. I'm also all about shorter looks for formal wear right now, its just a little fresher in my opinion. This Jessica McClintock ruffled party dress is just the sort of thing I could sink my teeth into at the moment. Don't let the razor thin model fool you it goes up to size 18 (as do all J. M. pieces) and I think it with a pair of black tights and some insane shoes it could be the daringly ubertrendy prom look of the moment. Logic be damned if its hot pink and has ruffles I'm all about it. Don't be afraid to go for that bold color. For something considerably more traditional IGIGI has this lovely navy satin gown, which just screams princess. I love the color on this, its just such a rich blue.

There are hundreds more gorgeous dress options at IGIGI, Torrid, Salon Z & Jessica McClintock. There is something for everyone no matter what you're looking for.

Good luck on your prom dress hunt young ladies!

For those of us who remember our years of high school dances what did you wear to your prom? I was decked out in a lavender Jessica McClintock gown that was no doubt inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow's pepto pink Ralph Lauren Oscar night dress. It was the exact same dress, complete with sweeping shawl only in lavender and I swore I looked FIERCE.