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As the proud owner of Double D breasts, I loathe underwear shopping. Just awful. You ping into Agent Provocateur, or Myla, or even good ol' Marks & Sparkles, hoping for... silk! Satin! Pretty, frothy knickers! Little slips of delicate fabric, chiffon ribbons, gorgeous colours, yummy delicious girlie smalls. And yeah, you find them. In an A cup. As you progress through the racks, the frills 'n' froth disappear, to be replaced with inch-wide straps. Four-hook bras. Giant cups that cover everything. Some of that is just practical: I like a wide back to my bra as much as the next large-breasted girl. Wide straps under a T-shirt for day? Great. But what about when you're wearing a low-cut top? Not even necessarily in a racy way, just... nothing makes you look more sow-like than encasing large boobs in a poloneck. I can't see how covering the top of the breast with the cup provides any extra support. Whither the balconettes, the 3/4 cups? A bunch of you emailed the Ask TFFF hotline asking this very question. A special shout-out to reader Sarah, who we were too late to help, but kindly emailed us some pics of her awesome finds, and who's basically eye-meltingly hot. So, well done her! But clearly, we're all having trouble finding everything from fancy bras to basic knicks. Thank heavens then for women's champion Gok Wan, who has teamed up with online lingerie purveyor Simply Yours to create an 11-piece range of underwear in non-electric-shock-giving fabrics, not repellant to the eye (I know I'm not alone in owning any number of grandma-esque parachute bras that have to be kept firmly hidden away), in the following sizes: - Sizes 8 to 32 (UK)
- Cup sizes A to G
- Back size 30 to 46
On the downside, Gok was also responsible for the naming of the pieces. Those familiar with his TV shows, How To Look Good Naked and Miss Naked Beauty, will be aware that he is fond of a stupid name or two for faintly titallating body parts. 'Bangers' is, I think, my least favourite - we're adults, for goodness' sake. They're called breasts. I'll also except boobs, but a banger is, in any case, a sausage, and heaven help you if your breasts look like sausages. Anyhoo, names for the Simply Yours range: - Banger Booster (aaaaargh)
- Slicker Knicker (ugh)
- Boobylicious Basque (please, please stop)
- and Sex Kitten Corset (when will the lambs stop screaming?)
However, one thing I love, love, love about the collection is the styling in the photographs:  
 
Clockwise from top left: Divine Outline, £45; Curve Controller, £55; Sex Kitten Corset, £45; and Sassy Slip, £55; all Gok Wan Lingerie For Simply YoursYou know why? These are photos styled and shot by people that are genuinely plus-size friendly. You might not be able to see in these smaller sized shots, but the high-res versions I have show that the stretchmarks on the model's stretchmarks have not been airbrushed out. There's nothing shaming about stretchmarks, and if you're big, you're likely to have them. These photos acknowledge that. My most favourite thing though? The dude in the background. It's subtle, but brilliant, and something I'd love to see more of when marketing clothing for plus-sizes: the acknowledgement of plus-size sexuality. These pictures are sexy. I think the general theme of the shoot is basically your average lingerie ad: Sunday morning, airy loft apartment, you've got the newspapers and you're trying to figure out where to go for brunch. Boyfriend wears his pyjama bottoms, girlfriend the top. Pillow fights, slo-mo, so far, so familiar. In this scenario, girlfriend eventually gets it together to get dressed, amusingly modelling her new underwear, while her hottie mctotty of a boyfriend takes photos of her, flirts away, and tries to persuade her that pancakes are lame anyway, they should just stay in and have some awesome sex. Seriously. This is how a straight-size underwear shoot would be styled. The extra-special cherry on the awesome icing on the yummy cake? That's a straight-size male model right there. It would have been so easy, and so wrong, to hire a plus-size male model to be the plus-size model's fake photoshoot boyfriend. I've nothing against plus-size men or plus-size models of any gender getting work, obviously, but how great that the photos acknowledge that hey, not only are plus-size women attractive and sexy, but universally so. There's no qualifier, no 'attractive... to other fat people' or 'attractive... for what they are'. No weird plus/thin miscegenation-style antics going on. No. It's just a lovely curvy girl being admired. Which, frankly, rocks. I may even forgive Gok the name 'Banger Booster'. Gok Wan Lingerie For Simply Yours, from £22. Simply Yours; 0871 231 2000
It's the first real post of our return and I'm going to be entirely selfish and talk about Neal's Yard, massages, and beauty products, rather than dive right into the nitty-gritty of plus fashion. (All that stuff to come, promise!)  London's super-cool Neal's Yard, the tiniest, shoppiest courtyard in the capitalRight, we've had Halloween (I came as the credit crunch, thinking I was all clever, then I read the Halloween post on Stuff White People Like and had my dreams once again kiboshed), then there was some sort of election, not sure if you guys heard about that... and swiftly on the heels of that, came Guy Fawkes Night, at least if you're British. (This is where we incite religious hatred by burning effigies of Roman Catholics to celebrate the defeat of Medieval terrorism. And there are toffee apples.) Anyhoo: the calendar moves on pretty fast in the autumn; all that's left is Remembrance Day tomorrow, and then we're on the home stretch to Christmas/Chrismukkah/Happy Birthday Jesus Day/present-giving. November through December is basically an unholy combination of cold weather, festive parties, and a hella lot of shopping. (How you guys cope with Thanksgiving in the mix is beyond me.) One of my favourite brands, Neal's Yard Remedies (they of the beautiful blue glass bottles and delicious-smelling organic goodies), has introduced the Retail Therapy massage throughout the UK for Christmas. The massage comes in two "flavours", Refresh, and Relax, which was my chosen option. I'm not a crazy fan of massage, as I find being touched by people - even friends, relatives, boyfriends! - quite uncomfortable, but this was genuinely a revelation. As a long-term certified insomniac, I can say it's the best sleep solution evah. I slept like the dead after my 30-minute massage last Thursday. This somnambulant miracle was brought to me by the hands of Denise Monroe, former model and wife of jewellery designer Alex Monroe, which added a level of glamour to proceedings. Incidentally, how beautiful are these Alex Monroe pieces?  Jewellery by Alex Monroe; 00 44 (0)20 7703 8507; alexmonroe.comEr, anyway. One post at a time! Retail Therapy massages are available at Neal's Yard stores throughout the UK. £35 (London) or £25 (regional)for 30 minutes, including a gift box of two products to take away, worth £10. These also double as excellent presents/stocking fillers (depending on how generous you are), as I can attest, having already pawned some off on friends pretending I was treating them. I'm a charmer! Call 00 44 (0)1747 834634 to book, or visit the website. Refresh is quite zingy, all geranium and orange, whilst relax is arnica, rose and pomegranate. I'm currently also using Neal's Yard orange flower shampoo and conditioner (£10 each), which is doing excellent work and smells delicious - combining nicely with my housemate's Christmassy-scented ginger and vanilla. (Organic Ginger and Vanilla Bath Oil, organic Ginger and Vanilla Body Lotion, and a Ginger and Vanilla Candle, £27.50 the set.) Anyway, like I said I'm not usually a big massage fan but this really was the business, totally soothing, sorted my sleep problems out for a night or two, and at only half an hour didn't interfere with my ridonk schedule. Plus anytime a beauty treatment comes with products included in the price, it's a good thing, particularly PCC (post credit crunch). Keep tuning in for a review of Gok Wan's new lingerie range and latest TV show, Miss Naked Beauty - and a shout-out to reader Sarah for her awesome underwear (in a sisterhood yay! sort of way rather than a creepy old dude in a basement way) - and then we'll finally get round to answering your questions, I've been wading through the 50 or so emails (!!!) we've got and trying to triage according to whose wedding/party/outfit emergency is soonest!
Hi, everyone! Yes, it's been a million years. No, we have no excuses. The dog did not, in fact, eat our homework. Mr Nobody didn't do it and run away. Your TFFF correspondents just got busy: Miss J and I both upgraded from semi-professional fashion hacks to the real deal, and goodness, but that was a shock to system. But hey, we're back now. I'm not promising that we can bring you thrice-daily updates, or anything, but then we never did. But a regularly scheduled dose of fat-friendly fashion coverage and a stern critique of the industry a few times a week? That, we can do.  We'll be doing a bit of a re-design, too, and bringing back long-neglected features such as Ask TFFF* (we might actually answer the questions this time around, instead of nodding sagely and saying, " What a good question" then scampering off the Starbucks for a dark cherry mocha ( so good) and forgetting all about it), perfect 10s, how tos, and the like. What else can you expect from the return of the blog? In the next few weeks, look out for: - A look around Europe's biggest shopping centre, Westfield in London's White City. Is it a white elephant or sparkling monument to capitalism? (Or indeed both.) And, more importantly, how many shops in the 43-acre development cater to plus-sizes?
- Christmas round-ups: the best gifts and goodies that are both size- and purse-friendly.
- Clickity-click! We review, compare'n'contrast the many 'virtual wardrobe' sites that have sprung up around the web over the last year: the good, the bad, the plus-sizes available, the irritating software you have to download and cram your hard drive with just to play Cher-inClueless with your clothes.
- How to wear winter's hot trends and wear to buy 'em, from ruffles to leather trousers.
- Tightening your belt: how to update your look in these (yawn) credit crunchian times.
- The joy of Retail Therapy massages at Neal's Yard, available throughout November and December for stressed UK shoppers.
- First Lady Fabulosity: the Michelle Obama look! How to look as chic as Mrs O.
- Reviews and lush pics of cool girls' champion Gok Wan, plus editorials on Miss Naked Beauty and more.
- All the TFFF-related fashion, beauty and celeb news and gossip as and when it happens.
*Yes, Ask TFFF has quite a backlog of emails and questions! Mea culpa. Rest assured that these will be trawled through over the coming weeks and we'll try to answer as fast and as best as we can. In short: yeah, baby - we're back.
And were back! The red carpet doesn't stop for one second and in the past few weeks curvy stars have been front and center displaying their fashionable finest - but not every look is a hit. While its up to us to keep track of who is wearing what - its up to you to tell us just what you think about these looks. First up we have Jennifer Hudson at the MTV Movie awards in a crisp white number but what is up with the visible bra? Not just the straps but almost the entire bra is on display. Are you feeling the overt cleavage? Or do you think less is more? Now I personally love Beth Ditto's continuing parade of McQueen that she's been wearing lately. This is no exception - I think the print is phenomenal and it goes so well with her wild hair and accessories. This might not be everyone's cup of tea but for me this is an ace in the hole. Nikki Blonsky's all black and lace ensemble is a little too safe for my tastes but you can't deny that she looks great. The red belt is a nice touch, I wouldn't have minded seeing more of that bright color on her. Rounding out the bunch we've got my least favorite of the group. I think this faux-Pucci print on Jill Scott does nothing for her. There is something about those geometric prints that makes me think Tron...
    Now I've made my picks but how do you feel about this month's dose of star style? Love/hate them all? Like them OK? Anyone who can explain that pastel Tron sack Jill Scott is wearing in a logical manner gets bonus points.
We're not shallow, lipstick-and-shoe-obsessed girls here at TFFF Towers, y'know...well, we're not just shallow, lipstick-and-shoe-obsessed girls. Sometimes we expand our cultural horizons and watch the telly, read magazines, or, er, shop for homeware instead of fashion. How deep is that? On that note, let's talk Live Action Telly, or, as it's more commonly known, theatre. The papers here are currently full of news 'n' reviews for the latest Neil LaBute play to be staged in London. Fat Pig, starring TV's Robert Webb (of the embarrassingly excellent Peep Show), Kris Marshall (of, um, the BT ads), Joanna Page (of the piss-poor Gavin and Stacey, that people will keep insisting is good, even though THEY ARE WRONG (I'll brook no argument on this)), and Ella Smith (of that Holby City episode, one time) as the eponymous 'fat pig'; is basically a theatrical version of Shallow Hal. Robert Webb's Tom falls for Ella Smith's Helen; his colleagues, Joanna Page's rejected Jeannie, and Kris Marshall's Carter, mock him soundly for dating a fattie. Meanwhile, from what I've gleaned, Helen happily chows down and teaches them all valuable life lessons. Or something. Given it's LaBute, I'm guessing there's not an awful lot of hugging, sharing and learning going on...  Robert Webb and Ella Smith in Fat Pig, at Trafalgar StudiosNow, your correspondents haven't actually read or seen the play, so I can't pass judgement, but I thought I'd share some of the stuff that's floating around, and open it up for discussion. Here's some choice quotes from the articles and reviews: "Other people may consider it a problem – they think that if you wanted to be thinner, you could, and there's also that transition we make from fat to lazy. But why are we so judgemental about other people? Helen is insecure – she says she's 'pretty OK', but that's not really OK. Not that that's anything peculiar to people who are overweight."Neil LaBute
The Independent"Famed for exploring the heartlessness of America's heartlands, LaBute treats the Tom-Helen affair with superb emotional accuracy. Their first encounter is beautifully done: Helen swathing herself in self-deprecating irony ("big people are jolly, remember?") and Tom, in a don't-mention-the-war manner, desperately trying to avoid all size jokes. All their scenes ring tenderly true, with LaBute showing how two people, in spite of social pressures, can be drawn together by shared tastes, sexual appetites, and matching conversational rhythms."Michael Billington
The Guardian"LaBute is often described in interviews as a bear, even a big cuddly bear, and in the programme he makes it clear that he identifies with Helen, the 'overweight, sensible and perfectly lovely heroine of Fat Pig' who, like him, is 'a stress eater'. But as he would agree, there's a rather obvious difference, which is that she's a woman and more easily mocked than most plus-sized men. Indeed, Kris Marshall's Carter can't disguise his hilarity when his office chum, Robert Webb's Tom, falls for Ella Smith's Helen, who stuffs herself with pizza or whatever else is going."Benedict Nightingale
The Times"He is uncharacteristically soft on his fat heroine. To be as overweight as Helen is not normal, but LaBute doesn't inquire why she has put on so many surplus pounds, jeopardising both her health and her romantic life. All he's concerned with is the cruelty of the thin mocking the fat, and our lack of courage in accepting human differences."Charles Spencer
The TelegraphSo, opening this up for discussion -- a change from our remit of fashion, I know, but worth talking about nonetheless. For me, a lot of the reviews (particularly that Telegraph one) focus on 'why is Helen fat?' rather than on the broader (no pun intended) points of the play; preferring instead to judge the character (and therefore the actress) as 'not normal', unhealthy, greedy, all the usual suspects.
And now for something a little bit unexpected, fashion week fixture and Barney's Creative Director, Simon Doonan has expressed interest in creating a plus sized line. If Simon Doonan designed a clothing line he'd focus on an oft-overlooked demographic. “I would love to do a plus-size line,” he told us at last night’s El Museo gala at Cipriani. "I think there’s a huge opportunity for doing clothes that are size 12 and up."
Doonan noted it's ridiculously hard to become a somebody as a fashion designer these days. "There’s more designers than the world would ever need in a hundred million years, there’s more clothing lines, there’s 400 bloody shows in the New York fashion week. So there’s no shortage for womenswear. But I think there’s an opportunity to do insanely great things in the plus-size market," he said (ahem, Project Runway alums). He continued, "As a freakishly undersized male, I understand the plight of the oversized female. You know that thing of looking for clothes and they’re not there."Having a selection of plus sized clothes at Barneys would be heavenly but will this ever come to fruition? My inner skeptic says no but perhaps I'm just jaded. This is one of the few times I have ever heard anyone in his position express interest in making plus sized clothing but as we all know having an interest in doing something and actually taking the initiative to do it are two very different things. He does however make an excellent point - there is a need for high quality clothing in plus sizes, only a handful of designers are making anything for the plus sized market. I'm sure Mr. Doonan would be a welcome edition - he has loads of personal style and his book Eccentric Glamour was a witty ode to fashion non-conformity. Lets see if he puts his money where his mouth is.
The internet has been buzzing about Whitney Thompson winning America's Next Top Model and becoming the first "plus-sized" (and I use the term lightly since Whitney is only a size 10 or so) model to win the competition.  Now on the one hand you have the naysayers who feel this is a great big publicity stunt and on the other you have the overly optimistic news items acting like the results of a reality show are going to really change the tides of fashion. Since I didn't watch this cycle and can't judge based on Whitney's overall performance I can only base what I think of her on her polaroids and the few modeling shots up on Elite. I do like what I've heard of her in a couple articles.
"I'm not going to lose 50 pounds — if someone asks me to do that, I'll go to another [modeling] agency," she said. "I've already heard online from boys and girls all over the world who are dealing with eating disorders. They're thanking me for standing up and saying, 'I am a plus-size model and I am beautiful.'"
From what I can see she's a classic beauty with a lovely look - but was we all know all the real interesting stuff on ANTM happens behind the scenes and feel free to fill me in since I missed it this time around. Thoughts on Whitney's win? Love it? Hate it? Does it even matter anyway since lets face it the only girls to go on to have legitimate fashion careers on that show were not the winners.
'Twas in the spring, then spring became the summer, it got too hot to wear a cardigan... uh, I don't know where I'm going with that too-poor-to-be-a-parody, so let's just move right along to today's topic: skincare! I don't know about you, but I've been revelling in the recent warm weather: sunbathing every day, skipping to work in skirts, bare legs and sandals, getting my skin out... ...and of course, all that sun, combined with already dry skin that's been under wraps all winter, has taken its toll. I'm in need of some serious skincare TLC, and have bust open my cupboard full of ultra-rich body butters, oils and moisturisers to try and quench my dry skin. Because when you're flashing the flesh in a summer dress, skin needs to be plump, dewy, and happy. Annoyingly, you can no longer seem to get one of my favourite body moisturisers, the Barefoot Doctor's Damn Sexy Heavenly Body Butter. This might have something to do with the fact the good doctor had sex with a bunch of his patients, major scandal, and so on; but c'mon, what's a bit of unprofessional behaviour when moisturised skin is at stake? Here are some of my favourites: Bidadari Shimmering Body Souffle, by Sanctuary, comes in a pleasingly heavy glass jar with a fancy metal fastening: you feel special just popping open the lid, before you've even plunged your fingers into the jellyish souffle. The texture is soft and wobbly, like lightly whipped cream, and spreads easily and generously: you only need a small blob for each leg, rather than a whopping great handful. The scent is an acquired taste, however, and it is a shimmer product: but subtly so, adding a gentle glimmer to sheeny skin, rather than a Pussycat Dolls-style glitter overload. Soap and Glory Big Butter Lemon, Flowers and Orange, comes in a bog-standard plastic pot, but don't let the whiff of cheap packaging fool ya: this product is scent-sational! (Yes, I went there. No, I'm not proud.) I actually like the kitschtastic Rainbow Brite-ish packaging, but it's not the chicest product out there. However, it does smell creamily, dreamily good, and butters you up a treat. Buffy the Backside Slayer, a butt-buffing body butter bar by Lush, is practically perfect in every way: it's a little bit gritty, to exfoliate; it's a little bit greasy, to moisturise; it's a little bit scented; it leaves buttucks so peachy you could make cobbler with them; and it's got a funny name. If it doesn't leave you as bootilicious as it should, try the more emoliant Aqua Mirabilis bar instead: just as good, minus the great name. Cocoa Buttercream Frosting Body Butter is not for the mature palate: in fact, none of Jaqua's products are. They may come in sophisticated card boxes, with elegantly stickered tubs inside, but they all basically smell like a 6-year-old sugar addict's dream. If you like chocolate, vanilla, icing, sugar, marshmallows, etc., this is no bad thing. The thick butter spreads on skin brilliantly, though it is really, really rich -- use just a couple of times a week, and be warned, wasps and bees will probably follow you around. [Sorry everyone -- Photobucket hates booty, for some reason. Image will be restored when I'm back in my Bunker O' Photoshop. Sheesh. I bet Style.com never has this problem.]
Bidadari Shimmering Body Souffle, £9.95 by Sanctuary
Buffy the Backside Slayer, from £4.50 by Lush
"touch me then try to leave" body cream, $28.00 by Benefit
Soap and Glory Big Butter Lemon, Flowers and Orange, £9.50 at Boots
Johnson's Baby Oil, $5.29 from Drugstore.com
Cocoa Buttercream Frosting Body Butter, $22.00 by Jaqua
Enjoy showing off your beautiful new skin this summer, but: don't forget to use suntan lotion and after-sun!!! You'll thank me when you're old and yet un-wrinkly. You may feel greasier than Peter Andre, and have to wash your sheets all the damn time, but seriously: USE SUNSCREEN!!! [/End of TFFF mini-lecture]
Once you pass a certain cup size finding a cute bra is a needle in a haystack search. Everything tends towards representing one of the three Bs - Blah, Beige or Boring. Its as though lingerie designers think aesthetic sensibility decreases as cup size increases. Past a C cup and the lingo becomes all about "support" possibly because after taking one look at the myriad of plain beige bras a girl really does need a group hug - as such were going to focus on three brands that provide some much needed eye candy.  FREYANow this is some seriously cute stuff - if you've ever wondered where Elle Woods would buy her undies look no further. While there is a good mix of basic and bold the really over the top bras are what make this line special. As far as sizing goes Freya has the biggest selection of all the brands - they extend up to a J cup though make sure to measure and follow the sizing guide carefully. As I said what I love about these are their penchant for brightness. The whimsical color combinations and details really make the bras fun. I personally love The Daisy bra for its sheer joie de vivre. The lime green and hot pink are so relentlessly girly I can't help but smile. Pricing: $$$ Sizes: C - J Sugar or Spice?: Sugar Available @: Figleaves.com & Several retail locations FAYREFORMOoh la la! These are among the more decadent offerings with styles that scream boudoir moreso than bedroom. Lots of lace and little bows - it all screams French coquette or madame depending on who you ask. Everything is very sensual and elegant - the sort of stuff one might wish to save for a special occasion but nuts to that, every day is special. Since I mentioned coquettes before I have to say that the Paragon bra is absolutely perfect if one is feeling particularly coquettish. Its sexy black lace but the pastel accents make it just a little delicate. Pricing: $$$ - $$$ Sizes: Sugar or Spice?: Spice Available @: Bare Necessities.com & Several retail locationsCACIQUE I am going to have to give credit where credit is due - when it comes to cute underthings Lane Bryant actually delivers. While the vast majority of their product line underwhelms me the Cacique intimates line is chock full of very attractive non-run of the mill bras in a wide range of sizes. Granted, the styles tend to be more sugar than spice but high five to LB for doing something right for once. The Polka Dot Plunge bra is a particularly cute option with its retro styled polka dots. Pricing: $ Sizes: B - H Sugar or Spice: Sugar Available @ : Lane Bryant nationwide Alright ladies, I've put up my picks for cute bras. What are yours? Where do you look for cute bras?
I don't know about anyone else but I'm all about color right now. Not just color but the brightest most saturated brights in existence. Weeks of bronchitis and all things drab have left me eager for the full Crayola box selection. Since it is spring - and the stores are full of the latest in almost florescent color - its the perfect time to explore all that is bright and punchy. Of course we know that color this vivid can be a bit tricky so we have a little guide to navigating the dos and donts of bright colors.    
Bold Color at Jil Sander, Sonia Rykiel and Marc by Marc Jacobs1. Keep It Simple: Neon colors pack a punch all by themselves so one can keep the patterns to a minimum. Too much pattern and color could wind up looking too loud - or worse yet too 80s if done wrong. There is a fine line between looking chic and looking like an extra from a Duran Duran video. If you absolutely must go you're going to go for a pattern make sure its balanced - the right mix of neutral and bold. You might even want to try one of the numerous Balenciaga inspired floral patterns that abound this season. 2. Adjusting the Levels: There is bright and then there is BRIGHT. Neon can be very harsh so its important to pick the right shades to flatter your skintone. In general the warmer toned brights are more universally flattering - instead of an acid yellow go for a sunnier shade. Its important to always consult a mirror before wearing bright colors because the undertones in your skin play such a role in which shades will work best. 3. Balance: Head to toe neon is best left for fashion editorials and raves. Balance out your brights with subtler colors. Neutrals are great for this but don't be afraid to experiment with unexpected color combinations. Look at how well the pale pink and bright orange combo works at Jil Sander - sometimes a pastel or muted color can work just as well as a neutral. 4. Be Fearless: Fashion magazines are filled with crap about how black is slimming and blah blah wear dark colors if you aren't size 0. Forget all that garbage. Its spring - no one wants to be dressed like they're on the way to a funeral. Color is an incredible way to stand out in a crowd - however if you do feel shy about wearing such bright colors try a bright handbag or shoes instead. 
Yellow Belted Mac - Evans, Black Straight Leg Jeans - Old Navy, Green Suede Bag - Derek Lam (in stores only), Yellow & Beige Pumps - L.A.M.B., Oversized Sunglasses - Tom Ford, Andy Warhol Union Square Fragrance - Bond No. 9Now I've put together a little outfit with a lot of color that I think shows off a wearable version of this trend. We've got a great little top from Evans, in the perfect lemon yellow shade paired with classic black jeans from Old Navy. I think this combo is just great for spring and very easy to wear. For added interest we've got an equally juicy combo of accessories - amazing colorblocked pumps from L.A.M.B. (their shoes are consistently offbeat quirky) and an apple green suede bag from Derek Lam. Notice that the top and shoes are yellow but the bag is green - you don't want to do all one color its good to have a bit of difference to mix things up. Top it all off with a pair of over the top Tom Ford sunglasses and a spritz of Bond No. 9's latest pop art fragrance and you're good to go. Will you be wearing bright colors this spring or are you planning on skipping this trend? I've already started up on it to be honest and I don't plan on stopping until the weather cools down.
With illustration such a big trend this spring (check out UK Vogue's round-up of illustrated cosmetics' packaging, and, duh, Prada's drool-worthy Flower Faerie collection), I couldn't, Carrie "Now On the Big Screen and Thus Totally Relevant in 2008" Bradshaw-style, help but wonder: do fashion's illustrations influence the size debate? One of the most oft-cited idiotic excuses designers use to defend their choice of wafer-thin models on the catwalks, is some variation on the "curves – breasts and thighs and rounded bits - ruin the line of the clothes"/"the design was perfect on paper, it gets distorted by breasts" etc. What they're talking about is how the ideal of the design, on paper, works differently when translated into fabric and placed on a real body. Inevitably, when one designs in a 2D paper format, the final result will be different. You're going from a painting to an object. Yet, rather than accept that the finished piece (a dress, skirt, trouser, what have you), is the real design, and the original illustration is merely a piece of artistic whimsy, designers all too often cling to the illustration as the perfect realisation of the design, with the clothing itself a poor facsimile of what could have been. In a sane world, we would shake our heads and say, "But isn't the point of designing clothes to design, well, clothes? So if you can't design a dress on paper that works well when made, you're not very good at your job. And if you only want to design dresses on paper, go off and be a painter, or a full-time illustrator." But this is fashion. So instead, as we've seen, we blame the models for distorting the design/ruining the line/stretching the fabric. That's not exactly what I want to examine here: we've discussed designers' wacky views of women's bodies on the catwalk fairly often; let's now move the discussion over to how they imagine women's bodies. Ever noticed that the women in fashion illustrations have something in common, both with each other, and with catwalk models? Let's take a look:   
   Ceci n'est pas des femmesAside from the issues of race (seriously, where are the non-Caucasian fashion illustrations? Is there some massive shortage of brown ink that we don't know about?), the distortions of illustrated women's bodies are just insane. It's no wonder designers see a difference between their designs as idealised on paper, and the finished product. It's one thing to add a dash of fantasy to illustrations - they are, after all, an artwork in themselves. But they should be secondary to the real deal, secondary to the reason those illustrations exist in the first place: the clothes. Yet designers persist in cladding imaginary girls thinner than the paper they're drawn on. I'd love to see the illustrations done by plus designers: Anna Scholz, Marina Rinaldi, et al. Do they, too, whisk their pencil and conjure whippet-thin women, or are their drawings more closely related to the end product? Do these illustrations matter? Should we concentrate solely on real women, on getting plus-sized models into the magazines and onto the catwalks alongside their thinner colleagues, rather than distracting ourselves with the semantics of cartoons? I think it matters. Because when you write, or draw, you have absolute freedom. There isn't a client saying, "customers won't respond to an advert with a black model"; or a stylist saying, "fat chicks won't fit into these sample sizes". There aren't real-world, financial implications. Unless you're drawing to commission from a fashion magazine, in which case, are the magazines specifiying "thin imaginary models only, please - and make them white"? There's just paper, pencil, and imagination. Every race, height, hair colour, size is at your disposal when you illustrate. And yet, even when there are no limits, all we see is thin.
Who wasn't in love with the star prints shown by The Kaiser at Chanel, and Stefano Pilati at Yves Saint Laurent, this season? So 1920s Americana, so patriotic, so red white and blue, so "let's do it for our country!" "Oh, Lewis!"...*
The answer to this mostly rhetorical question is, of course, NOBODY. The world has gone star(k) staring mad. (See what I did?!) London's Oxford Street-Regent Street high-street hub has turned into the MGM of yesteryear: more stars than there are in the heavens. Yet as the lights go out all over Europe, I forget about all Hollywood, because Doris Day could never make me cheer up, quite the way those French girls always could the high-street, usually a place (state of mind?) I am likely to pledge my firstborn unto for ripping off catwalk looks at lemonade prices, has, on this occasion, GONE TOO FAR.
STARS ARE EVERYWHERE. IT'S FREAKING ME OUT.
But, and yet. I still love the star prints. How can one not? It's spring! (Allegedly.) What could be funner and flirtier than a navy, star-printed shortie jumpsuit and a pair of fabulous sunglasses? Unfortunately, not only does everybody else love the look, it ain't subtle. If three lasses all wear jumper dresses to the same bar, no-one would know. Three of you wear a star-print -- even in wildly varying forms, a jumpsuit here, a cardigan there -- oh, the jokes will never end. Yet there is still, to quote Heaven 17: temptation.
Here's how to indulge in the trend without going starry-eyed:
 Clockwise from top left:
Stila All-Over Liquid Shimmer, $22 from Stila.com
Stila All-Over Shimmer Eyes in #7, Champagne, $18 from Stila.com
Magic Stars, £0.44 from Sweetiebag.com
Fresh Supernova Mascara, $25 from Sephora.com
Angel by Thierry Mugler, $45 from Sephora.com
Silver Star Chain, $9.99 from GirlProps.com
Barry M Dazzle Dusts, £4.50 from Superdrug.com
Champagne Supernova Bath Bomb, £2.65 from Lush.co.ukIf that little lot isn't ample sufficiency, well...why not have a read of the excellent Star, and its even better sequel, Star Struck, by noted author Pamela Anderson? *Quick poll: who was hotter -- Lewis from Grease 2, or Kenickie from Grease? Or has Jeff Conaway's latterday behaviour/appearance negated all Kenix hotness forever? One to ponder...
The Independent on Sunday yesterday carried a story in their news section on the new size acceptance, citing Adele, Marina Rinaldi, the size 16 winner of the Surrey heat of the Miss England competition, and the monthly online magazine Just As Beautiful. (Is it sour grapes to harumph about poor journalism by saying they totally should have mentioned Too Fat For Fashion...?) Have a read, and, as ever, let us know what you think.
Many thanks to all of our readers who commented or emailed suggestions for my continental European shopping trip! Unfortunately in amongst all the walking and eating (oh my, the eating... if anybody can tell me where I can get pickled garlic cloves in the UK, I will be forever grateful), I didn't do an awful lot of shopping. But I did pick up a few vintage and flea market finds, which I shall share with you now, just for funsies.
 Mi amor & sic amor
10 & 20 rue du Pont Louis-Philippe
www.mi-amor.com
Cute 'n' kitsch jewellery and accessories -- like a half-burned cigarette pin, with tiny red paste jewels at the 'lit' tip, for €10. Also, the cutest and most expensive postcards in the world. Sure, you can write home to everyone you know on ugtastic 6-for-a-Euro cards, but if you like things pretty, drop a whole Euro (each!) on the carte postale from this delightful shop. (Also in the vicinity: the most wonderful music, stationery and specialist boutiques you could hope for.)
 Ladurée
Champs Elysées & other addresses
www.laduree.fr
OMG. OMG. Even if I say 'fairytale' and 'chocolate box' and 'cherubs on the ceiling', I can't convey how fabulous this tea room/Purveyor of Heavenly Macaroons is. Quite simply the best macaroons in the world -- in flavours such as chocolate, rose petal, pistachio, raspberry, cherry, vanilla, Champagne, and Indian rose. Thank heavens there is a branch in London.
 Free P Star
8 Ste-Croix-de-la-Bretonnerie
I found an amazing leather satchel here for €5, as well as a sparkly gold jumper (€3), and a fabulous and very on-trend red ruffled dress (€10), which I plan to wear with slouchy knee-high tan leather boots for a '70s feel. All are pictured below. This boutique is awesomely rummage-y, and fantasticly cheap: so refreshing after London's vintage shops, which, thanks to Kate Moss, all charge outrageous prices. Also, the best falafel in the world are sold nearby...fact. There are a bunch of other great vintage shops nearby, and at one of these I found the other leather satchel I bought, for €20 (I have a leather satchel weakness...), but foolishly didn't take down the name.
 Colette
213 rue Saint-Honoré
www.colette.fr
I didn't buy much here, mostly because I'm on a writer's income (and not the JK Rowling sort), but I did pick up a totally cute Liberty-print stuffed rabbit toy/objét-type-thing, since it was nearly Easter. Check him out, below -- €10 totally well spent! I also got a badge reading, ma vie est tout à fait fascinante. I wish I'd picked up the book as well (which is available at Amazon France -- or Amazonique, as I like to (wrongly) call it), but I'd just dropped €30 on Time For Action (There's No Option) About Feminism at the delightful Palais de Tokyo, I couldn't really justify it.
(Ooh, also at the Palais de Tokyo, I got another badge, this one featuring a little pink foot, and the text 'Cinderalla's quest'. I'm starting to add up the hows, whys and wherefores of how I came home broke...)
Finally, at various tackorama tourist souvenir shops and flea markets, I picked up an adorable and kitsch Eiffel Tower bracelet, made out of gold-painted cheap metal sure to turn my wrist green, and a selection of silver rings (in Amsterdam), all pictured below.
Clockwise from left: red ruffled dress, €10 at Free P Star, and detail; gold spangly jumper, €3 at Free P Star; leather satchel, €20 from vintage shop, um, nearby Free P Star (I'm so unhelpful), and detail; floral lapin, €10 from Colette; and totally different brown leather satchel, €5 from Free P Star.
Clockwise from top left: Silver rings, in amethyst, jade, coral and tiger eye, €2 each from an Amsterdam market; Eiffel Tower bracelet, €6 from the tourist shop opposite Fontaine St Michel in Paris.
That's it, kids. Thanks for all your help and suggestions, I'm only sorry I was unable to make good on them all, being somewhat distracted by Danish hair models and delicious macaroons. Oh! and in Copenhagen, I picked up a red-on-white fitted men's tee from the lovely Oscar Bar Cafe, a friendly and fab gay bar staffed exclusively by adorable Thierry Henry lookalikes.
Ah, shopping. How you make my life sparkle. Verily, I feel like Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, without the midgety and creepy husband.
Maybe its just me but I've always felt like Saks' Salon Z was a little lacking. They've long been held up as one of the recommended plus sized high end outpost but lets face it things can be little (or alot) matronly. Which is fine if you're older or have a more conservative look but what if you want something a little younger or hipper? Contemporary wear is the largest gaping hole in the plus sized market as far as I'm concerned and Salon Z has been dragging behind its main competition Nordstrom Encore in the coolness department. 
Salon Z looks from Amanda Uprichard, Alice & Trixie and Lewis ChoNot one to be outdone Salon Z seems to be stepping up its game - with new editions from popular designers like Alice & Trixie, Lewis Cho, Maiya and Amanda Uprichard they seem to really be trying to update things. While these aren't full collections - only about three pieces per designer - I like that some of the hip labels you'd see on Shopbop or Net-A-Porter are adapting their popular styles for larger sizes. Its about time don't you think? Though I do see a bit of my pet peeve jersey fabric I'm happy to see even more silks. Everything Salon Z goes up to size 24 but the good stuff goes quickly. Everything is available for pre-order at the moment but it should be in stores / ship out soon. See anything you're interested in? Personally I'm jonesing for the Alice & Trixie Cassandra Dress in the Moroccan black color but I find myself tempted by quite a few of items. I really hope Saks expands these collections and continues them -all of these designers have larger collections for straight sizes so it would be nice to see all the same options for plus.
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